Frat House Embassies

Tired of the usual, New York City status hustle-bustle of Cabildo Avenue here in the neighborhood of Belgrano, city of Buenos Aires, country of Argentina, I decided the other day to take an alternate route on my walk to school. Granted I probably could have handled Cabildo Avenue on this particular day because I was walking to a class that began at the frighteningly early hour of 8am, when not even the coffee shops are open, I am pleased with my decision to have taken a road less traveled...I found the "frat row" of Argentina! (Yes, as in "row of fraternity houses on a college campus.")

I was walking (in my new, amazing boots!) along Avenida 11 de Septiembre, welcoming the change of scenery and enjoying the most recent song that the shuffle feature of my iPod had selected for my listening pleasure ("Shape of my Heart," Backstreet Boys), when I happened upon an especially ornate building. Architecture interested me as a school/career option at one point in my life, but I'm not really learned in the subject at all, so instead of taking a stab at the style and era of the building, I'm just going to say that it looked like a "really fancy house." (Although I have been told that most of the architecture throughout the city draws from French and Italian influences...just like the food.) Anyway, there was a sign on the sidewalk just outside the rod-iron fence encircling the building indicating that parking outside the Vietnam Embassy was strictly prohibited. I did a double-take. Wait, the Vietnam Embassy? My level of self-importance spiked at that moment: I was in the presence of a real live ambassadorial residence! I paused for a moment and then continued on my way, only to immediately after happen upon another parking-prohibited sign, but this time belonging to the Turkish Embassy! And then shortly thereafter, I found the Czech Republic's Embassy! By the time I had arrived at school on this round-about walk, I needed a second hand to count on my fingers all the embassies I had seen: those of Vietnam, Turkey, the Czech Republic, Thailand, Austria, and Australia.

During my walk, I found myself looking for other "parking prohibited" signs outside of each building I passed, and also craning my neck in search of other details that might give away yet another embassy...like, tiny gold placards on front entrance gates, or 4-car garages stocked with Mercedes Benz, standing guards in uniform, and flags waving proudly over front doors. (Sometimes the signs were obvious, and other times not.) Regardless, it stirred in me memories of similar adventures...though I could not quite place it...and then it hit me! Ahh, scoping out the embassies was like scoping out the frat houses and parties at UCLA on a typical Thursday night! (Of course, a very non-shallow process.) If embassies were frat houses, these would be my first impression conclusions:

-Thailand had the prettiest embassy, which probably means its parties are the worst, because no one ever goes there and actually trashes the place. (Frat house "disrepair" index corresponds with party "fun" level, obviously.)

-Turkey knows what's up. The embassy was gray in color and the architecture rather simple and modern, but judging by the trodden grass on the front lawn, something big had gone down there the night before...lots of foot traffic. Also, the ambassador and other officials probably invest more of their resources in "party provisions" rather than building maintenance, which is a plus.

-The Czech Republic, I suspect, is that "little-known yet really cool" frat, judging by its long driveway which led (to what I assume was the embassy) behind a thick grove of trees, such that the embassy was completely concealed from the view of pedestrian traffic. Although word of their parties probably only gets passed around via underground means (whereas the staff members (bros?) of the other embassies on the row could easily just open their front windows or party on the lawn and beckon to passers-by to join in on the fun), I bet they get away with murder at the Czech Republic Embassy considering they are out of ear-shot of cops and neighbors who might file noise complaints.

-Australia for some reason feels entitled to have their embassy cover an entire corner of the block; theirs is by far the largest of all the embassies I saw. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was also the fairest of all, although the building was very well-kept. I have the sneaking suspicion that they are harboring a mock Coral Sea in there--complete perhaps with a miniature Great Barrier Reef and some sick waves so the government officials can get in some surfing without driving 4 hours south to the nearest surf-able coast. Perhaps they also have some barbies in there for puttin' shrimp on. Eh, mate?

-Austria: Nothing particularly memorable about this one. But, perhaps they get the occasional party guests who mistake them for the cooler Australia around the corner?

....

And so concluded my walk to school one fine Tuesday morning. I later let my imagination wander again as I sat through three hours of a professor talking in Spanish far too rapidly for my little brain to digest.